My Fav Singers

I’m so happy today.

First, my 2nd sis has finally voice up on the rotate duty. She told me she can be on duty once a week only. I suggest making it flexible since she can’t promise if she can’t take care mom on Saturday. So I told her let’s make it as it is first, and if either one of us got any activity then we will inform each other for swapping. She agreed and I’m relieved. At least if I really got outing, I can depend on her now. Praise be to God! ;-)

Secondly, I didn’t go out today since I will be working over the weekend. I spent the morning doing my work and at night which is always the best time for me. I went up to my room, took shower and start downloading songs. I downloaded a lot of Lee Hom’s songs and enjoy listening to it while updating blog.

I also downloaded Jimmy Lin’s songs. Jimmy Lin was my first fav singer and followed by Lee Hom. I guess I can consider myself as loyal. I only have two fav singers which I’m really into it. I remembered when I was a teenager, I really crazy with Jimmy Lin. He is not only handsome but I like to watch his dancing too. I admit I was attracted by his look as during that time he is not really good in singing. But when he released his 1st album after his finished his soldier training, he was totally changed. His voice was so matured and he really improved in his singing which make me more into him. Sadly after he encounter an accident where doctor advice not to dance, he didn’t release album anymore (maybe occasionally). He only concentrates on his movie/drama. What a pity that I can’t watch him sing and dance.

Anyway, he is very successful now. Got own business, got pretty wife, got cute son. I’m so happy for him and he is still the handsome daddy Jimmy Lin. ;)

Jimmy & Lee Hom, you guys are the best!!

Workshop of the day

I attended a whole day workshop at client’s office today. Because it was a regional workshop, many of my colleagues from all over the country came. I met with my leadership program colleagues; Ohmar (Laos), Louisa (Hong Kong), Stanley (Taiwan) and Nicolas (Cambodia). Sadly to say the person that I want to see didn’t come. I wish I could see him again this year, otherwise have to wait for next year.

Today’s workshop is really great. I was very impressed with their teamwork and creativity. I met up with the founder of this product and both the husband and wife were so humble. These are the people that I really salute. Their founder and director, and yet, they can humbly sat down with us with a drinks and chit chat. And their attire is so simple and casual.

After workshop, we went to South Sea Seafood at Subang Jaya for dinner. The dinner was superb and among all the dishes, I like the lamb the most. Talking about it, my saliva still dripping… haha… It’s really good restaurant and I’m superb full. Too bad the place not really convenient for mom to come, otherwise will sure bring her there.

I’m bringing Louisa, Ohmar, Stanley for dinner tomorrow. Hopefully they are okay with my hospitality and we will have a good catch up and fellowship with each other.

I wish I am a Doctor/Nurse..

Sometimes I wish I am a doctor or a nurse, so that my dad will listen to me.

Lately my dad has not been feeling well. It is either he feel dizzy or feel like vomiting. Every day he checks his high blood pressure twice a day and sometimes can be quite high (140-150). Every time he saw the reading so high, he will get nervous or worried. Then later sure he say not feeling well. I wonder is it his sensitivity or it is a true sick or he just want to get our attention. But whatever it is, I hope he is not because of wanting to get our attention and pretend sick in front of us.

My brother told me that doctor said my dad diagnosed with Vertigo. I checked in the google, Vertigo is actually a type of dizziness like a spinning movement. It is often associated with nausea and vomiting as well as difficulties standing or walking. My brother said there is no cure but just to take medicine only. My brother also said he had the same illness as well.

Looking at my dad, I can confirm one thing that he is old. I know we can’t depend on him to take care of mom but what can we do? Quit our job or hire one more maid? Another concern and worried is my brother. Dad always goes to my brother and said his high blood increase and he felt like vomiting. My brother already quite stressful and I’m afraid he will get more stress up seeing at my dad’s condition. If I’m a doctor or nurse, at least my dad will come to me and listen to me but he only listen to brother. I also wanted to reduce my brother’s burden by taking care of the family.

Anyway, I pray that God will heal my dad & brother and give them more strength and healthy life. I will be taking emergency leave again. Hope my boss understands.

You are still the one...

Today is his birthday but I can’t wish him. I try to control myself not to msg/email to him. What a difficult task. Thinking of him but can’t do anything. What I can do is to write down the memorable time we had for the last 3 years.

We met in the office and we worked together. SAP has brought us close to each other. Because I have experience with the new version and he is not, so we get along quite well. We discuss and learn from each other. I still remember during that time I don’t know about IM (instant messaging) in lotus notes which we can chat with colleagues within DKSH. I and he correspond through email until when I got IM, we started to IM each other.

In IM, we shared a lot of things, our stress, our personal problems and even a little gossiping.. ;) My most memorable time is our first outing to church for an event. I invited a lot of my colleagues including him but to my surprise he agreed to go with me. None of my colleague accepted the invitation but he did. I’m so happy!

On that day I’m so looking forward and after work, we went for dinner nearby my church. That’s the time I know him better. He even shared about his relationship with me when I told him that I like to imagine. He said his ex-gf has this kind of symptoms too which is more serious than me. What a coincidence. We had a great night and the event was good.

The second outing is to Damansara Perdana, one of the café. I also didn’t expect he will come. In fact, I remember I asked him to karaoke but he can’t make it. Then he asks me out the next day and I told him okay. Unfortunately later he said he can’t cuz he got a friend come by to visit him, so we decided to meet at night at the café.

There are a few outings for us other than going out for lunch during working hour. I don’t need to mention each outing except the last outing we had which is towards christmas time. He asked me out for Christmas dinner. This is because both of us were so busy with our projects and hardly catch up. So he proposed to have dinner together and at the same time to catch up. Of course I’m excited and looking forward.

That night he brought me to Kelana Jaya Square (oh no..i forgotten the name of the restaurant) but it’s a very romantic restaurant where we sat near the pond. We had our steak and we even shared a bowl of soup as it’s quite big portion. After dinner, he sent me back to office to wait for calista to come and pick me up. While waiting for calista, I offered him a massage when he mentioned he was tired. I still remembered I did the same when both of us involved in a project and have to work late. He said my strength is not strong enough and he showed the right way to massage. All I can say, that night is the most memorable night I had with him among all the outings. And sadly, it is also our last night.

After my confession to him, all the above feelings have gone. I felt is like a tragedy to me. He did not talk to me as it like before, he did not say hi when he pass by my place and even try to avoid me. I’ve cried many times because of him and knowing that he is leaving, make me even more pain. I could not see him anymore. I was wishing that he will stay but he didn’t. He told me that he will keep in touch with me when he left that day, but he didn’t. Is it true that guys’ words cannot be trusted?

He left for few months and I did msg him once but he didn’t reply. I am very curious if he is still in Malaysia or not. Recently, one the colleague talks bout him and I took the opportunity to ask my colleague to call him. True enough he is still in Malaysia. I don’t know why I felt happy when I know he is still in Malaysia. Maybe I’m imagining that we could meet one day.

Until today, I still cannot let go of him. I tried not to think of him but off and on the memories will flashback in my head. Maybe when I leave DKSH, it would be the time I let go. I’m just hoping he will drop me a msg/email. I wonder this day will ever come.

Anyway, happy birthday to you…you are still the one who has placed a deep footprint in my heart. I wish you all the best in whatever you do. Miss you so much and the time we work together.

I like the feeling....

Men who are gentleman are very important. This is what I have been emphasizing with my friends whenever they asked me the criteria for a guy.

I like the feeling when a guy cares for me. I like the feeling when a guy sees you carrying so many things and he offers help (he don’t mind to carry laptop too). I like the feeling when a guy helps me to order food. I like the feeling when a guy opens the door for me (I mean not to the extend of car door). I like the feeling when a guy knows how to make me laugh when im sad or down. I like the feeling when a guy understands me, comfort and support me. I like the feeling when a guy willing to fetch me to and fro to the destination. I like the feeling when he message me back after the outing, just to check it out if I have reach.

This is what I call gentlemen but sad to say, not many guys will do these. But today I went out for dinner with a guy and he does some of it. Maybe because I mentioned to him about gentlemen and he doesn’t want to loose face. Haha..

Anyway, I do have a great time. I thought I will go home straight for dinner. Never expect he will ask me out for dinner. But at least someone has taken some of my time.

On leave cum working at home

I am on leave today and working at home.

Second sister need to reach school early in the morning for her exam and hence, I’m taking leave to take care of mom.

Sometimes is good to work at home so that you can avoid all the calls and other interruption. But today is a bit different because I did not apply leave earlier as I thought I don’t need to take leave if Calista is still here. Since my boss has gone to Sarawak for business trip, I can take a day off but she didn’t know. This morning was really a rush cuz I am suppose to submit a proposal to a supplier by noon today. I have been working with that proposal and send to my boss for final review before sending. So there were many calls from my boss and she still didn’t know I’m actually on leave.. haha..

Anyway, I managed to touch up the proposal and send it over on time. Phew…. As I want to continue working, I felt sleepy now and feel like taking a nap.. haha..
That’s the problem working at home. I am very energetic and passionate when I work in the office but once come back to my home sweet home, I felt lazy. Maybe is the environment. Office got strong lights and house got dim lights.

Alright, I have decided to sleep.. Will continue work at night and tomorrow is my Jazzercise time again. So looking forward.

As long as I am happy!!

There are many unpredictable things happen in our life everyday. Whether is a happy thing or a sad thing, it depends how you take it. But I guess when you know the purpose of your life, you will know how to handle and take care of your life.

It has been a difficult weeks for me and until today, I can only say I feel better. I think about it, I have also changed in terms of my life. I am currently attending theology class on every Monday and I have just signed up Jazzercise which is on every Tuesday and Thursday. I tried the first class of Jazzercise today and I love it very much. Although I can’t really go out on the weekends, but I have fully utilize my weekdays and I’m happy. ;-)

That should be the way. Instead of squeezing myself in the corner and cry, might as well I find something to make myself happy.

Life goes on....with lesser words

If you ask me if i feel better, im still not. I dont know how much time i need to make myself back to normal. However, life still goes on. The only change in me is i talk less. I dont feel like explaining or sharing eventho being asked by my friends.

I just want to quiet down, quiet down my mind not to think of anything but to do whatever need to be done. A lot of things need to handle n settle and most important thing is to settle the house thingy first. Then at least i can take a deep breathe.

I thanked God for my eldest sis cuz off n on she will text me to check on me. Im just so touch. Probably she has really seen my weakness and she is worried bout me. But i will still tell her im ok, dun worry.

Time will heal...

Whether you like it or not, life is full of ups and downs. Life is full of surprises. Life is full of things that you will welcome and may not welcome. It all depends how you take it, how you handle it and how you face it. But the most important thing is when you have a religion to cling on, everything will be alright. You can be extremely sad for awhile but will not be forever if you willing to go back to God and bring your tears and frustration to God.

I thanked God that You are always here for me. I thanked God I am a Christian. I thanked God no matter how down I am, You will send someone to bring me up. Forgive me for being stubborn sometimes, but I know You love me. I just need some time to get through it and I will be alright God.

Luv ya..

My First Class

After having persuaded many times by my colleague, I have decided to sign up for theology class for the 2nd semester. I have not been in touch with God’s word for some time and I thought by taking theology, it will force me to read God’s word frequently.

For this semester, the courses were very interesting but I have chosen understanding of New Testament. As bible has old testament and new testament, I guess it will not be that bored by taking new testament.

Last night I went for my first class and we have 7 of us including me. It is just nice for one class. The course starts from 7.15pm to 10.30pm, every Monday for 10 weeks. I asked Pastor if there will be any exams (as I heard from my colleague there will be exam in order to get the credit), and Pastor said the assignments are part of the credit already. I looked at the assignments, there are three of them:

a) Reading Log – I have to read 300 chapters and submit the log before the deadline which is mid June. Pastor will review what have I read and if it is not relevant, he will ask me to re-read again.. Phew..
b) Research Paper – I have to choose one topic (out of 5 topics) and do research from as many books as I can and write 1500-2000 words.
c) Presentation – I need prepare power point presentation slides of either one of the characters in the bible or the event or the place and present within 25-30mins

That’s my assignment. It’s really not easy but I know I will learn a lot from the reading and research that I’m going to do.

Apart from this new testament, I also want to take up another course which is Christology. It talks about Christ only. Although I have been Christian for many years, I can’t say I know Christ a lot, and hence I want to attend this course. Furthermore, this lecturer only came here for 3 months and he will go back to UK. My colleague says this is a very good lecturer and very fun to listen to him. He is 68 years old. I’m really tempted to go but I’m afraid I couldn’t cope with two courses plus assignment. Anyway, I will attend the Thursday class and decide later.

I’m quite excited of the new life I’m having but I hope it is not the life that I can't bear. May God give me strength, stamina, patience and wisdom along the way.

Unforgettable wake service

I cannot imagine I’m writing a blog at this time. I really don’t have mood to work. Recently I’m quite disturbed with so many things going on. Not to mention on my family matters, my supplier’s son has passed away last Thursday. I went to his wake service last Friday. I have never attended a children wake service before where I’m so emotional observing the atmosphere and the family members. His grandpa kept on weeping his tears and his grandma kept on comforting the grandpa that his grandchild has gone up to Heaven. Don’t be sad. I did not talk much on that night as I just want to quiet down myself and of course start to imagine. Imagine that if this happens to my family. Can I be that strong?

My supplier’s son is only 11 years old and is the eldest son of two. He was diagnosed with brain tumor and the whole process from knowing the result to his funeral takes only 2 weeks. What a sudden tragedy. The saddest part in this wake service is when the parents came up to share about his son. Especially when his mom shared the journey of his son during the hospitalization, I couldn’t hold my tears any longer.

The tumor is as big as the tennis ball. Doctor was amazed why there is no any symptom with this huge size of tumor in an eleven years old brain? Two weeks ago, the parents noticed that his son crouch while walking. And so they brought them to see orthopedic to check on his spine. But the doctor didn’t found anything and his spine are normal.

After a few days, his son cried and told his mom of his back pain and after that he vomited. The parents quickly bring him to emergency ward. After awhile the nurse came out and told the parents that her son need to go for brain scanning. The mom was puzzled as she thought is the spine problem and why did they need to scan the brain? The nurse told her is doctor’s instruction. His mom went out to look for her husband to inform him and as she step out, she saw doctor was talking to her husband and overheard of their conversation. The doctor told his husband that he noticed there is a big tumor in his son’s brain and need an immediate scanning to examine further. The mom was trembling and shivering hearing this news but she had to go to accompany her son for the scanning.

Last Monday, the son went for an operation to take out the tumor. Before the operation, the parents spend a day to accompany their son and pray for him. They had a very good quality time together. The son asked his mom, “mommy, operation need knife or not? Is it pain? What happen if doctor cut wrongly, what happen if doctor drop the knife and it gets dirty, what happen and what happen..”. My tear has started rolling down thinking he must be very afraid.
His mom was very calmed and told his little son, “don’t worry son, doctor don’t need a knife but he will give you a jab and then make a small hole and remove the tumor in your brain. Then close back the hole for you and maybe you will loose some hair. That’s all only”. What a wonderful white lie. Is only a mom can do, I guess. Looking at his son who is still not convincing, the parents continued to remind him “you got Jesus with you, aren’t you? Jesus will be there with you. He will not let anyone to hurt you. He will control the doctors for you and will not let them hurt you. He will take care of you and will be there in the operation theatre even before you go in. Have you forgotten the dream you had 3 years ago?” “You told me you saw a man wearing a white robe came towards you and touch your head. You told me it was Jesus! He loves you my son”. After hearing all these, his son finally felt the peace and smile at the parents. Ever since he admitted, they have never seen such great smile in his son face before.

As his mom accompanies him to the operation theatre, his mom sang;

Jesus loves me! this I know,For the Bible tells me so.Little ones to Him belong;they are weak but He is strong.Yes, Jesus loves me!Yes, Jesus loves me!Yes, Jesus loves me!The Bible tells me so.
His mom repeats the song on and on again until they reach the operation theatre. Prayers from the parents friends, church members, family, colleagues from all over the world has been the most comfort and hope to them.

Operation lights off, doctor came out and say that they couldn’t continue further as the blood was over-flowing from his brain the moment they took out the tumor and they only manage to get 10% out. The son was sent to ICU for observation. The next day, the doctor said one of their son’s eyes has no feeling/not functioning. Doctor suspects his son’s brain was dead and need to do further test to confirm.

First test failed and before his son went for the last test which is the 2nd test, the parents really cried out to the Lord to spare his son. To make his son resurrected from death just like our Lord Jesus. Ten minutes before the 2nd test, doctor wants to see the parents again. And this time the doctor told them that he noticed the son’s back spine has a lot of little tumor surrounding the spine. The parents really shocked to hear that. And they finally understood why God take him away. How can a little boy endure this kind of disease? Hence, they have already prepared the 2nd test result which is turns out to be failed as well.

Although the son had to go, the parents’ heart had the peace of who is holding his son’s hands now. It is God. God doesn’t want to see his son suffering and hence bring him up earlier. It is already a miracle that nothing happens with his son for the past 11 years even though with this big tumor. As long as they cherish the time that they had, it is a very good satisfaction to them.

The whole night service I was so emo. I’m so proud of both the parents who can be such strong and willing to share the journey with us. How can they hold the tears?